I started this blog to share Justine’s life after she was killed in a car accident last year. It was therapy for me. I’ve written a book about her life and for a year and a half I have told many stories of her 29 years. She is never far from my mind but I don’t like dwelling on her life (and death) as much anymore. I think this is a healthy move forward.
I know many people who never recover from a death in their family. Whether it be a parent, sibling or child they just live the rest of their lives grieving. I can’t do that. I have to believe that everything happens as it should and I have to find joy in my life. I realize that everyone grieves in their own way and I’m not criticizing anyone. I feel sorry for people who can’t move on. It would be a horrible existence.
There is a man who I pass at a bus stop several mornings a week who wears rabbit ears. He was featured in the local paper. The reason he wears his Easter costume daily is because his daughter loved rabbits and she died. I thought he was trying to promote awareness for some cause such as drunk driving but when I googled it, it says he wears them to remember her. I’m sure most people would feel badly this man is stuck in grief.
People say I’m strong. I’m sure many people think I’m selfish or cold. Maybe I’m all of those things but it works for me. I just can’t spend every day feeling I’ve lost something and cry. I can’t think that way. It’s life, it happens and we must believe our loved ones are happy and at peace. I think of Justine on a permanent beach vacation, free from worry and stress. She is happy now and that makes me happy. I believe other family members who have crossed over are there too and they are having a wonderful life there. I’ll go there one day too and we’ll all be together again.
I don’t think you are being selfish or cold, I believe that Justine would want you to move on. All the best to you
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Thank you. I often think that she would never want to have made ours lives unhappy. I do believe she would be happy we have been able to find joy.
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I think it’s good that you are moving forward. I believe it’s healthy. My mom passed almost 11 years ago. I had to force myself to keep going. I know that is what she would want me to do. I love your strength and that you are finding joy in your life.
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I haven’t lost my mother but I imagine it is the worst kind of loss. I hope you are finding joy.
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It’s a good step to take, nothing selfish about it. I wish you nothing but the best.
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Thank you for your support and encouragement.
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You’re welcome Cathy.
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There’s no shame in that. God wouldn’t have taken her, if He wasn’t ready for her to be one of his angels; and though sometimes we want to, we can’t argue with His choices. She is on a permanent beach! And someday you’ll be there together. 🙂
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Thank you.
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You’re more than welcome. 🙂
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I lost my wife, five years ago this March. Losing a beautiful child has to be dreadful, and yes, I also believe our departed beloveds want us to live out our lives in happiness. My dear one has seen me through so many rough patches, and sent me many blessings, over the past five years.
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I feel that way too. Justine would never have wanted me to be unhappy. I do feel she is with me.
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Moving on is not forgetting those who’ve gone very far from you. It is just saving yourself from mentally dying too. I’m so glad you finally decided to come out of the tragedy. I wish you the best. 🙂
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Thank you.
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😊
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Everyone who has lost a dear one will grieve in their own way, you are not cold or cool, you just cope the best way you can. And that includes moving on. Because there are a lot of people around you who love you like you do Justine, and they deserve you being there for them too!
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Thank you.
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Cathy, I think you are a realist to move on and live your life in the present. Justine will always be a part of your journey.
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You are absolutely right to want to move on. You have your won precious life to lead. The good memoires will always be there when you want to go and visit them In theory it is selfish to move on but on a practical level you have to look after number one and your own mind and health. Everyone moves on and finds closure in their own time. I think it is remarkable that you have realise this sooner in your life. You are moving forward and refuse to stay stuck in the past.
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Thank you.
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I admire you so much for finding the strength to put one foot in front of the other and move on with your life. You will bless others through this. Thank you for sharing your journey.
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Thank you. I admire you for the same reason.
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